Dad left at 9:45. He said goodbye and rubbed my head behind the ears, but I was half asleep and barely acknowledged him. I don't feel like I need to be nice to him (or Mom) when they leave in the morning. They're awake for an hour or two, during which time, they're running in circles, or in the bathroom. Then they each leave and I'm alone for most of the daylight.
It's a lot of bullshit. All I want in the entire world is to spend time with them and eat. And they treat both as rare treats. As if that increases their value. I used to think that they were mean, but now I see that their priorities are just fucked up. My parents are just a couple of assholes.
And they never go outside without putting their shoes on their feet. Yet, when we’re home, relaxing, they refuse to stick their noses in them. I can’t understand them at all.
But that’s all pretty typical – this is the strange part of my day:
Around 11AM, a woman arrived, as usual, to deliver mail. She always opens the front door of our building with an enormous ring of keys attached to a leash on her belt and leaves the blue basket of mail on the sidewalk. While she’s inside, the blue basket sometimes move and I don’t know why. It's not alive (at least I don't think it is) and it doesn't have legs. But occasionally it’ll just...slither a few inches, or even feet, without the mail woman there. When it does, I start calling out, trying to get her attention, to get anyone's attention, but it's as if I'm the only one who notices it. Once I begin shouting, the girl downstairs starts shouting too, but only about whether or not I'm okay. I guess she can’t see the basket moving.
Today, while the woman was inside the building, the basket pivoted completely, like a scary puppet come to life, then drifted to the curb where it toppled over. I shouted especially loud. So did the girl downstairs in turn.
A man walking down the street watched the entire event unfold, yet did nothing. He watched it happen as he walked by and didn't even try to stop it. I don’t know whether he was indifferent or afraid.
When the woman came out, she cleaned up the mail as quickly as possible, then hurried off. It didn’t make sense to me, almost like she was more afraid of being in trouble. I don't know why she wasn't more suspicious of the situation. Perhaps she thought it had been pushed by someone else while she'd been inside? I know better, I don't know what's actually going on!
My current theory is that a spectral force has commandeered the basket. My fear is that this spirit doesn't live in the basket, but haunts our building itself - just toying with the basket when it's placed too close to our front stoop.
I don't know how to make anyone recognize this though, and at times, I worry that I'm going insane.
In the evening, I ate.
08.25.2017
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